Bayern Market

We're back chicken lovers! After a brief recess, the experts have returned to the field to toss

out some new reviews. 

Entrenched deep in the rolling hills of Tel Aviv, Bayern Market hopes to achieve a monopoly

in the popcorn schnitz industry.  This German gem in the Sarona Market is surrounded by

a myriad of trendy eateries and all-around good vibes. Right off the bat, the meal is

served in a user-friendly red and white plaid paper bowl, laying down a base layer of

positive vibes. The bite size schnitz allows optimal breading along the surface area.

Like the titanic, the popcorn schnitz is engineered for greatness with a slight

hindrance… the juice. Unlike Chance the Rapper, these popcorn schnitz do

NOT have the juice. This gaggle of chicken is arranged and served in a

classic rugby scrum formation… the proper meal to gulf down just previous

of shredding the gnar. With a ratio analogous to a mega stuffed oreo, the

schnitz bitez soothe your jaw on the descent with a serene crispy-tender-crispy

combo. Unfortunate to many American travelers, this venue does not its due diligence

on the proper dipping options that go swimmingly with the shnitz family. No BBQ,

No honey mustard, Not even fermented bean curd! That’ll have to go into profoundly

profound reflection when cumming up with the final tallies. Top that off with a

cherry soda as cold as aardvark cum (absolutely frigid) and you’re ready to fuck

up some kadima. These popcorn shnitz served us well for our time in the

holy land and we toda Bayern Market for that<3.

Juiciness: 6

Tastiness: 6

Crisp: 8

B for b: 7

Appearance: 5

Score: 32