Monticello Casino and Raceway

Located in the food court of this New York state casino, you’ll find some of the worst tenders

out there. This should not be surprising at all as casinos are often in the news for scamming customers. But most of the time, the stories are about the results of the cards, slots, or roulette spins. In this case, it is different. The fraud at this establishment is when they trick you into purchasing their tenders at the food court that look quite delicious in the picture on the menu. DON’T LET THAT FOOL YOU! These tenders are not worth the barren space in your stomach. You’d be better off taking your $10 and putting it all on red. A disgrace to all tenders, it tastes, looks, smells, feels, and even sounds like nasty old men on roller skates with a marked propensity towards procrastination and sloth. Even after attempting to drench it in sauce, the finga de pollo ruined my appetite. There's more flavor and juice found in a cat’s litter box. Make sure to pick up your complimentary Monticello Casino and Raceway t-shirt and voucher and visit the blackjack tables instead of the food court.

Taste: 3

Crispiness: 4

Juiciness: 3

Appearance: 6

Bang for your Buck:2

Score: 18

Haworth Minit Mart

In the middle of the thriving metropolis of Haworth, NJ, this dive offers a wide range of fried

stomach fillers. For only $4.50, you can chow down on a basket of chicken tenders. Hot

out of the frya, these beautifully breaded tenders will consistently put you into a state of

euphoria. These tenders can be enjoyed anywhere from the bar top inside to the swings

that are just a pebble’s toss from the door. The quality of this chicken yields the perfect

amount of juice per square bite. The admirable flexibility of the tenders are as malleable

as Simone Biles when she does a Triple-McTwist® off the balance beam. Any expedition

to the Haworth Minit Mart won’t disappoint.

Taste: 7

Crispiness: 6

Juiciness: 8

Appearance: 7

Bang for your Buck: 7

Score: 35